Even Amazing Grace Faces Opposition
The Israeli Knesset is thinking about a new law that could let parents or widowed women use the sperm of their deceased son or husband to have a child. This includes sperm collected after they've passed away. If this law is approved, parents could look for a woman who is willing to have a child using their late son's sperm. There's been a lot of negative reactions to this idea on social media. Critics say that children born this way could have problems because they would grow up without a father and might feel pressured to live up to their late father's memory. However, I don't think these arguments hold up. A child born in a Western country today is very lucky compared to many children throughout history who faced lots of difficulties and suffering. These children dealt with poverty, instability, and cruelty, all without the advantages of modern technology. If we only had children when we could give them a perfect life, we would be dismissing the entire human history. If we oppose having kids in hard times, perhaps we should question our place as the latest generation in a long line of generations that were willing to bring children into a world full of turmoil, war, and hunger. It's important to remember that children were even born in concentration camps, which shows how strong life can be.
The idea that the situation of a child's birth is super important is an old-fashioned thought that comes from outdated psychological theories. These theories say that all mental issues come from childhood and the past. But in truth, people are more affected by what's happening now. If there are any influences from the past, they come from how our ancestors lived thousands of years ago. For example, an Aboriginal kid in Australia might be really good at finding their way around because of the conditions their ancestors lived in a long time ago. Early life isn't as important as people often say it is.
A child without parents will grow up loved by their family, especially grandparents who are happy they're there. Their life will be filled with ups and downs, friendships, and relationships with caregivers and teachers—just like any other kid. The fact that they're a part of their father's story will just be a small part of their own life.
The proposed law doesn't require the dead person to have given permission while they were alive. Often, young people feel like they're invincible and don't think about unfortunate events. However, some do think ahead, like Benjamin Ze'ev Herzl, a leader of the movement to create a Jewish state. Even though he died so young, he left behind instructions about what he wanted for the Zionist movement. But in today's world, where people live longer, many don't think about these kind of things. So, requiring a person to give permission for their sperm to be used after their death might not be fair or possible.
Do we really need the permission of people who have passed away? I believe that when someone dies, they're no longer part of our world and don't have any rights anymore. Their role on this planet has concluded. Some people think that they're watching us from the afterlife. I once talked with a psychologist about how I felt my dad wouldn't be proud of me because I've chosen a different path in life. She gave a beautiful answer: "Now, your father is a soul. And souls," she said, "are full of love, not judgement. We don't need to worry about them judging us."
If dead people do have rights, like the right for their will to be followed, it's because we want to avoid encouraging bad behavior among the living. If we didn't respect wills, we might force people to do strange and complicated things while they're alive to make sure their money goes to the right people after they die. Acknowledging wills keeps things simpler. The same should be true for using a dead person's sperm. There should be an easy way for people to say they don't want their sperm used after they die. The law being proposed allows people to do this. But if a person didn't object while they were alive, there shouldn't be a problem with using their sperm after they're dead.
To me, it's clear that using a dead person's sperm to have a child is a great way to honor them. This idea fits with Jewish tradition, which encourages a man's brother to marry his widow if he dies without children. This practice makes sense from a genetic point of view because a child from this kind of marriage would be 75% genetically similar to a child the dead man could have had with his own wife. Today, with our modern technology, we have other, very effective ways to continue the family line of a person who has died. These methods can also provide great comfort to grieving grandparents.